Hot 'n Spicy!

Well, today was just about perfect. The sun was shining at a 79 degree CA temperature, no homework (end of the year, of course), basketball in PE, and pizza for dinner. But the highlight of these various activities was lunch time.

Yes, lunch time. The only real break from our annoying and sometimes fun teachers, where eat and play is combined into a mash up of screaming like a maniac and pissing off the yard duties. And sometimes there's that extra tang to it that makes fourth period even better...

Today, that tang was, literally and figuratively, a bag of Hot n' Spicy Chex Mix. So here I was sitting and eating my delicous PB&J, and my friend, Maddy, came over and sat down. She's really funny 'cause, like a burrito, she's a whole lot of fun wrapped in a pretty outer shell. Like that simile? It gets better.

Anyway, Maddy sits down and busts out a ham sandwich. We started chit chatting when another friend, William-- A.K.A. Willy Billy-- came and sat down with the bag of godforsaken Chex. He loves stealing my food, so, like any sixth grader with excellent judgment, I stole it. And, keep in mind, he's a boy, so he's all like, "Yeah whatever..." But, you know, he's got no lunch now so... yeah.

So, after finishing up our food, Maddy and I eloped to a bench under a tree and dared each other to eating that eye-watering stuff. I went first; I dipped a hand into the little bag and pulled out one of those weird criss-crossy griddy.... things. Let me tell you, while it may not hurt as much as intended, eating those things are like eating a 500 calorie ball of chile powder.

Yep. Anyway, as you can imagine, I ran straight for the water fountain and chugged 'till the tank system was friggin' empty. And then poor Maddy tried it. I know it'd be easier to describe the following through an elaboarate sequence of words, but nothing can possibly describe the full length of her artifcially flavored- induced meltdown.

Ever seen a cat go berserk? I know I have. So, I know this didn't quite capture the actual event, what with the fire and all... but, um... I think I pretty much did see a little smoke. Well, as you can imagine Maddy made a beeline for the water fountain and drank herself half to death, too. But in conclusion...

BEST. LUNCH. EVER.  IN A BILLION YEARS